Freedom

Back on the Heath running. The first time since my spring of leisure. And despite the summer rain (jee, it was bucketing!), the aching knee (why feeling young inside doesn't seem to translate to the outside?), the slight hangover and the exploding lungs (that's why it doesn't), it was brilliant!
I also realised why I don't like exercising with other people. It is an issue of mental space. Do you remember the Nike pitch in 'What women want'? When Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt come up with the running woman for whom it is just about ‘her and the road, where she doesn’t need to worry about being sexy or funny, about how to behave around men or colleagues, about how much money she makes. Nothing, nothing but the road'? (Don't quote me on this, my memory is not that good) Well, they did the cheesy work for me, and I don't need to come up with something similar. But that is it, really. My brain is connected to my feet. I need to walk or run to clear my mental clouds, to sever all ties, to feel free (nope, no getting away from cheesy today). Because, you see, as Male Friend #1 reminded me recently, quoting yet another film, breaking free is easy (even if painful and exhausting), the difficult part is to stay free. And if total freedom is impossible to achieve (although being an EI is a pretty good start), reliving the escape, reminding yourself of your uniqueness and independence, of who you are, of what you stand for as a person, not a girlfriend, a professional, a wife, a daughter, or a friend, is key to staying true to yourself. Hence the running, the walks, the lonely afternoons. Solitude can be a friend if you are not scared of it. Freedom can be a goal, a purpose, a choice, a cause to fight for. It is what you make of it. And can be found in the most unexpected places, even in the most unexpected company. Sometimes, your own.