Sunday 6 June 2010

Let's get physical - Part 2

I can hardly move.
I am sitting here at my desk with every inch of my body aching.
My back.. don't even get me started..
From EI to Physically Incapable. That's what happens when trying to fit into three days about two weeks worth of house works and DIY. I am beat.

Anyway, while I was swearing at Mr Dyson for having invented a vacuum cleaner with the handle in the wrong bloody place, therefore obliging me to move the bed (and pull my back) to reach hidden corners, I started thinking about life paths. Specifically, why on earth some of us always end up picking the most complicated ones (I suppose that was Mr Dyson's rationale for the bloody handle).
In fact, only a few days ago I was strolling in a park with Friend With Children #1 and her offspring. As she was talking, her words sounded like a lullaby to me. That wonderful straight road she has followed, her life unravelling in front of her along predetermined milestones, like checkpoints through the cell cycle. She is by no means having it easy. She is up all night, has multiple family engagements, responsibilities, worries, etc. But at least she feels she has done what supposed to. She fits in the mould. She is still the straight-A student of our childhood.

But, to stay with the cell cycle analogy, what if instead of going from G1 to S one wants to jump to G2, think about it and then decide to get stuck in a G0 arrest? What if unchartered waters seem way more exciting? What if twisted corners light up our internal magnet and pull us towards the unknown?

One or two years ago, FWC#1 and I had a major fallout about this. I probably overreacted when she honestly admitted not to share my life choices. Yes, scrap the probably, I went ballistic. Because I wanted her approval, even though I was clearly rejecting her way of life. And this search for approval is a sign of weakness. If you want to roam free, get used to the loneliness. And to the fact that most people have no idea about how much works it takes to carve your own path, to cut through the vegetation, to find a way when lost in the outback.

The temptation to sit down, relax and let the flow drag me is strong. But I promised to Married Friend #1 to be always true to myself. So, despite the achy back and limbs, I don't think I will sit about for long.
At least until when sitting about is what I really want to do. Until then, back to the Trollveggen.

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