Don't make me laugh

Last night, with the now compulsory post-football match gloom, I started flicking through the plethora of Sky channels, when I came across the horrid Bridge Jones second film. I think I watched it several years ago when strapped in an airplane seat, during those unfortunate days when personalised displays were not available, and we were all obliged to follow the same revolting film, like lemmings. Therefore, my permanence on the above channel lasted about.. 3 seconds. Just enough to remind me of the ridiculous scam we women are victims of. The cute, rich, successful guy, with the fabulous career, the perfect family and the superb manners is NEVER going to fall in love with an idiotic, chubby, badly dressed, neurotic bore! It just doesn't happen.
A similarly misleading message is conveyed by an advert I have recently seen in Italy, where a clever, funny, not very good looking girl repairs a cute guy's car and drives him away, while his beautiful blond girlfriend is left behind.

Now, now, now. I am not being negative here. Oh no. I am just being honest. And frankly my theory can be very easily confirmed by any sincere man. Indeed The Man himself, when asked if the Italian advert had any remote chances of being plausible, admitted that it was just a load of bollocks. He managed to save his shins by adding immediately that some girls are lucky enough to be clever, funny and beautiful.. But that's like a confession under torture: pointless, and therefore not counting as evidence.

What I am trying to say is that rather than sitting on a sofa with a tub of icecream, watching the above-mentioned Bridget Bore, we should be loving ourselves and striving to be what we aim to be. No man can substitute self respect and a general feeling of well-being. Why should they? And if at least the Italian advert portrayed a clever lady with ideas and a sense of adventure, something to aspire to, Bridget Idiot has no redeeming features. She should not be celebrated, she should be abhorred. Hugh Grant and Colin Firth fighting for her? Give me a break. Have you seen Colin's beautiful and smart Italian wife?

There you go, something that gets me all fired up. The Bridgets, Forrest Gumps, George Ws and Jades of this world. The consumer-tailored raw models that celebrate global idiocy. That invite you to linger in your ignorance because everything 'will sort itself out in the end'. It won't. Being positive means creating opportunities, actively chasing dreams, cultivating interests, helping people, being a 360-degree human being. And if fate gives you a hand, then it is like tail-wind accelerating your flight. Fortuna audaces juvat. Icecream and bad television don't.