No more x

Being an immigrant comes with several downsides.


Not really knowing where your home is.
Being away from your friends and other loved ones.
Not seeing your nieces and nephews grow up.
Missing food, tastes, smells that you are unlikely to stumble upon.
And then, of course, speaking another language and adopting other people's customs.

I am not a big tea drinker, but quickly made friends with real ale.
Won't eat marmite, mince pies or fish&chips, but am a big fan of crumpets, toad in the hole and fish pies.
I am still confused about the number of kisses people give as a greeting (two, I do two), keep mistaking politeness for friendliness, and find Christmas cards a scary yearly mountain to climb.

But there is one British habit that continues to baffle me to this day, 14 years on: the virtual kisses. The 'x', or 'xx', or even 'xxx', in cards, at end of emails, letters or any other written form of communication.
May seem silly, but so many questions are attached to the use of this tiny letter. When? To whom? How many? And most importantly, what's the subtext behind the text?
First, friends. Is the number of 'x's directly proportional to the affection of the signee? If so, is a two-x friend closer than a single-x one, but not as good as triple-x? What if I sign with two, and they reply with one? Am I misgauging the level of intimacy? Am I being left mid air, giving an unrequited kiss (as often happens in real life)? And if you get downgraded, down the x-reducing spiral of discontent, who will address the horrible, persistent doubt: what have you done for an 'x' to be taken away?
Add romance to the equation, and my head starts spinning. What is appropriate? What looks suspicious? What means friendship and what something more? What if a kiss is just a kiss, especially in cyberspace, and doesn't stand for much in the real world?

Too much for me.
I shall go back to my old ways and cross the 'x' off.
No more kisses. At least in shortened form. Plenty left in real life.
Don't be offended. I am just Italian.