When a relationship is dying, but you are still in love and try to hold on to whatever is left, does the comfort of each other's company help, or does it just protract the agony?
Failures are never easy to admit. Whether it is a job, a friendship or love, to accept being wrong, or, worse, in the wrong place at the wrong time, is a struggle. Starting all over can be exciting, but detaching yourself from the old, before the new sets in, is, to say the least, painful.
Married Friend #2 had a major breakdown this week. To an incredulous husband, she admitted the unbalanced, unhappy nature of their relationship and just bust into days of unstoppable tears. To love someone you can't fully have, who doesn't love you back the way you want them to can transform perfectly functioning, successful individuals into self-doubting, self-loathing idiots. Basking in the martyrdom of unrequested acts of sacrifice and self-flagellation.
There is a time when one needs to stand up and walk away. Usually when the balance has tipped. When the grief outweighs the joy.
But what about the practicalities of relationships that keep people together? The visible as well as invisible ones? The habits? The closeness? The secrets?
As I said, not easy. Trouble is, when you realise that there is no curative option, there is no turning back. And if you wait too long, more life will have passed by without a resolution.
Somehow, it is almost easier to be dumped. But then, whose choice was it in the first place, once power of negotiation is lost?
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