Board(bed)room quota‏

What do intelligent, educated people do when bored at work? Simple: Fantasy shagging. You know Fantasy football? Pretty much the same, except that goals are scored every time a rumour is successfully planted about the player allegedly having sex with someone else in the company. That is to say, the winner needs to get HR's knickers repeatedly in a twist above anybody else's indiscretions, until they resemble the Wheel of Fortune.

This happened at Married Friend #2's firm, where a bunch of senior managers, who should have known better, found themselves drawing complicating relationship plots over subsidised coffee.

MF#2, uber competitive as ever, constructed phantom stories about the president of European operations (you have to aim high), the building manager (can't beat a broom cupboard) and, in a stroke of genius, the head of HR herself (everybody likes some girl-on-girl action). She was beaten to the post by her office buddy, who allegedly bedded the CEO, the COO, CIO and the CFO, almost automatically winning the title of CSO (Chief Shagging Officer).

Dangerous game, I hear you say. Indeed, it all ended in tears when whispers reached the Chairman of the board. Who was enraged and horrified to find out that he wasn't on anybody's list. The company now enforces a strict no-relationship policy.

Which brings us to the question: are business and romance compatible? Is it risky to go seamlessly from spreadsheets to silk sheets? And if it all goes to pot, how to ignore each other when walking down narrow corridors, or sitting across a boardroom table? On the other hand, considering the number of hours we spend at work on an average day, aren't we robbed of potential partners if obliged to exclude our colleagues?

Another friend, who is an HR expert, offered her advice on the subject: 'People can do whatever they want outside working hours, I don't care. There is only one line that cannot be crossed: the reporting line. Be creative, fish outside your team, explore new departments, broaden your office horizons. And, if you really like someone, don't mind what people say, let them talk. Before or later they will get bored and move on to the next gossip. In case they don't, be flattered. It means you are hot property.'

If I may add, someone should also remember to include the highest powers when spreading rumours. Nobody wants to feel too old, or too powerful for alleged indiscretions. What's the point of being the boss otherwise?