I have to admit that a few weeks back when reading about Robert Crampton's privacy-protecting, anti-technology firm stance in The Times Magazine, I slightly smirked. I can understand facebook-phobia, but having never shopped on Amazon? Had my favourite columnist committed to a battle to preserve local bookshops, I would have marched by his side. But being scared of leaving a cybertrace of your literary preferences.. Really?
Until.. until this morning. When, shock and horror, I received this email:
Amazon.co.uk recommends: "You: On a Diet: Lose up to 2 inches from your waist in 2 weeks"
What??? Just because I bought books about fitness and health, poetry, business and physics, I need to go on a diet??
You can just imagine some idiotic programme adding up the information, can't you? Poetry: woman (name sounds like it too), business (probably spends too much time sitting on a chair), fitness and health (yep, she definitely does, and instead of moving her butt she prefers to read about how she should be moving her butt), physics (that's it, a deformed fatso). Whatever you do on Amazon, unless you don't mind being called 'fat', never ever order this deadly combination.
As far as I am concerned, on top on concealing my age, my height and my weight, from now on I shall also segregate book purchases by theme. Waterstones for fiction, Borders for music and verses, Foyles for science, my local for fun, Fopp for whatever they stock on that day. And Amazon for.. nothing. That's it, I am highly offended, thankyouverymuch.
Now, if you would excuse me, I need to go for a run, followed by a low-calory salad with no dressing, and a spirulina body wrap. Have a nice weekend, everybody.
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