How bad can I be, I hear you ask

Bad, pretty pretty bad.
Don't believe me? Let me provide you with appropriate examples. Actually, I will start from the objects rather than the subject.
These are some of the 'nice' things men have said to me:
You are as cute as Professor Hargendau (a 60-year old German oncologist!!!)
I respect you, like I respect Erik (a 50-year old Swiss statistician!!!)
You remind me of my mother (thank God I have never met the lady, so I have no idea of what she looks like.. I can still hope)
Oh look at you, it is like in a film, when the hero has a flashback of his dead girlfriend (yes, he compared me to a dead woman..)
You are surreal (apparently in a good way..)
..and the best one.. you are like a brother to me (what can I say??)

Sure, the easy way out would be to say that men are a bunch of idiots and I am just very unlucky.
I tried to convince myself of that for a few years. But now.. now I know that it is not them.
It is me.
I am rubbish at this.