A possible solution?

I have been thinking about this for a while now, and somehow I thought it made sense.
In this complicated world, where divorce is so common and the average marriage doesn't seem to last that long, isn't friendship a better deal?
Especially if you live somewhere where same-sex marriages are legally recognized, why not tie the knot with your closest friend?

I have indeed discussed this with Best Friend, and I couldn't see a fault in my argument.
We love and trust each other unconditionally. We just need a quick look in the eyes to know exactly what is on our mind. We can spend days on the sofa reading books and listening to music without feeling the need to interrupt with inane questions. On the other hand, we can talk for nights and never feel tired (well, almost). We share numerous interests, have a similar taste in pretty much everything, we have a lot of fun together.

If we were to get married, we could build a home together, stable financial assets, car, pets, records to share. Easy. No danger of splitting up. We would clearly have an open bedroom policy, that is to say we would have separate bedrooms and separate sex lives (we both like men too much to do otherwise). No jealousy, no problem.

I thought I had it in the bag. Until she pointed out that a typical week together involves hundreds of cigarettes, thousands units of alcohol and millions calories. As she summarized it, we would shortly be two fat alcoholics with pulmonary emphysema.

So, back to square one. Damn!