Realization number three.
Sometimes you are much better off keeping your mouth shut.
Thinking, overthinking, rationalizing, deconstructing, investigating.. is it really a good plan when dealing with relationships?
I have made this mistake several times. Specifically, I asked men about 'the rules of engagement'. Most importantly, I asked way too early. And always got the same horrified reaction.
One guy had such a terrified look (as if a train was just about to hit him), I can still remember it to this day. He muttered that he was too drunk to answer and couldn't possibly get off the taxi any faster.
Another one completely misunderstood the question and started talking about holding hands in public, sharing toothbrushes (eeww) and who should take out the trash.
I finally realized how much men hate this issue when discussing it with Male Friend #1. Even if it wasn't directed to him, he clearly showed a lot of discomfort at the idea of a fellow male being questioned on the spot. And right out wondered if I had lost my mind.
What is so taboo about 'the rules of engagement'? Isn't it fair to try and find out where you are in a relationship? If it is moving forward or not? If they see you as a friend or a foe? Or is it just admitting that you are totally clueless, and therefore need a road map to sanity? Is it some kind of female overcommunication instinct?
This much I have learned today.
Some answers are just too uncomfortable for the questioner and the questioned. If in doubt, just leave it, it is a lot safer.
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