SF#2 is very sceptical. She is convinced that unlike men, women can quite happily be on their own, and so should they - 'Let's face it, love is a messy, debilitating affair. It sucks the life out of you, and turns the most intelligent people into paralyzed, ridiculous, self-obsessed, unbearable versions of themselves. Friends are forgotten and ignored, careers fall into second place, families are a distant memory. Who wants to be annihilated for the sake of another person? Sex is all you need, really'
SF#1.. well, as imaginable, she waxes lyrical about the highs, the glow, the happiness, the singing in the shower, the warm feeling inside, the smiling, the sharing, the new discoveries..
Me? Well, I am kind of sitting on the fence these days.
For sure there is one relationship I would like to keep forever at the peak of its strength, one person I want to fall in love with again and again, respect and be faithful to: myself. And believe me, that ain't an easy one! The rest is icing on the cake.. the cakes I am not eating..
Falling in love is a great thing! It's the opportunity to experience life with and through the eyes of someone else. Nothing messy or debilitating about that, in my opinion. In fact, it seems more paralyzing, ridiculous and self-obsessed to be so guarded and unoriginal. Perhaps it's fear that makes us truly unbearable versions of ourselves.
ReplyDeleteNot sure that "fence sittin'" is a favorite way to pass time. Besides, don't some fences have barbed wire across the top? Best to get in the game if you're gonna feel all prickly anyway. And yes, you're right. One of the best people to nurture and love is yourself. Through that self-care, perhaps you'll find a mate that wants to keep you at the peak of your strength, fall in love with you again and again while respecting and being faithful to you.
Oh, I don't know. I'm a fan of eatin' the cake!
I like your attitude MizzJudged! Very brave, indeed. And probably quite lucky in the relationship department?
ReplyDeleteI see your point about the fence.. it may not have barbed wire, but the pointy bits of the pickets are quite uncomfortable. How long this sitting about is going to last, is all to be discovered. For now, I will just enjoy SF#1’s stories.
About the cakes.. sshh.. it is a secret.. I had one at the weekend ;o)
Brave?! Nice thought. I'll hold on to that for the times when I'm in the mire and there's no turnin' back.
ReplyDeleteI am quite blessed in the relationship department. I couldn't ask for a better mate.
Hmm... A picket fence. Not quite the image that came to mind when thinking about the "sideline judge". The picket fence is reminiscent of happier times unlike the barbed wire fence that serves to imprison, physically and/or emotionally. Your call though as it's your reality.
I hope you won't sit too long. Seems to me that a part of working it out is living it. You can't live it by watching it go by. Enjoy your cake!
That's what I thought.. The being blessed part, I mean.
ReplyDeleteIt is a bit like the SF#1 vs SF#2 debate. The pros, the cons… Usually you don’t get to chose. You either fall in love or you don’t. Then, if it all goes well, great, either wise it.. sucks..
In all honesty, the fence is the best place for me right now. And I am going to hold on until my butt hurts. Sure, it is fear, but it is also common sense and self-preservation.. I am an EI after all, so I’d better be careful I don't end up like a crab :)
You're right, you don't usually get to choose. However, you do get to decide how you want to live with what's happening in your life. If love isn't there at the time, there is lots of beauty elsewhere should the choice be made to see it.
ReplyDeleteIf it all doesn't go well, I'm not so sure that it has to suck. Life is far greater than those 2 extremes. I think it's the gray stuff in the middle that truly drives people crazy. You can't count out those bits. They typically play a great hand in how we manage ourselves.
If the fence is the best place for you, have at it. Hold on until your butt hurts. Fear it all for as long as you want to and then get off and live fearlessly. Sure, sure, sure on the EI stuff but the crab bit is well... way over-rated.